Wednesday, May 12, 2010

the play, the play, the play (and some social awkwardness)

Note the late hour of this post. I have just now returned home from another evening of set building/dressing at the school. (well, okay, it took me a while to get things settled and write this up, so subtract a few hours)
This is normal.
Rehearsal was over at 6pm, and after that, anyone that could, stayed to help build the set. It's coming along, but it's not finished. Not even close.
I have a dress sitting next to me that needs to be hemmed about 6", which I'm afraid will not go well, and may not exactly improve the look of the dress. I'm considering other options besides hemming, but, I'm tired, and my creativity may have already gone to bed without me.
Jack still lacks shoes. Little Red may or may not have a proper blouse to wear. And I have yet to accessorize the step-sisters or Cinderella. Rapunzel's twins are still naked, with no proper wrappings in sight (they're on the small side, so a baby blanket is too big). The Baker keeps putting his baby into the basket head-first, and not supporting it's neck when he holds it. It's just a doll, but, as a mother, I cringe every time he handles it improperly. At least that one isn't naked - I wrapped it in one of the blankets I wove for my Twins when they were babies.

Did I mention? I have to put in at least 4-6 hours tomorrow at work. There is just too much built up that needs to be dealt with. Now. I worked about 1/2 day Monday, and today I had to be at a clients (regular thing, every other Tuesday, so no option), which got me to rehearsal after 5pm, by which time it was almost over. I thought I might have time to go back to my office later tonight, but I should have known better.

There is still just SOOO much that needs to be done!

One of the parents called me just after 10pm. She starts out saying she's sorry to call so late, she hopes she's not disturbing me, but have my boys come home yet from play practice? Because her daughter isn't home yet, and she's starting to worry. When I tell her we're all still there, we're not "done", but we have started cleaning up, she sort of gasps. Then she says that she didn't realize it was that much work, that I was putting in that many hours, or that there was still so much to be done. Maybe I've been too subtle in my emails to the parents? The phrase "we need help with the set" is apparently not clear enough.

And, on top of all the stress and such with the play, there is something else occupying my mind. Sort of distracting me, actually.

Here's the thing...

Friday night, as we're cleaning up to go home (we weren't staying late to work on the set - we lacked some key set-builders that night), we're talking, and rewiring some lighting, when Cam suddenly says he was supposed to call E about dinner. E is the wife of one of the other teachers, so I know this isn't a "date" he's calling, it's just a "meet friends for dinner" sort of thing. I know this, but, I don't know, something felt odd. Maybe it was just the general awkwardness of one over-40 single interacting with another. I know he's calling a friend, but I still feel, somehow, rejected. Like, "hey, I know we were talking here, but I've got this thing I have to go do now." And I feel foolish, because it's not like there's any interest or attraction, because if there is, it's not obvious. There has never been the slightest indication that he wants my company for anything more than costuming, props, and sets. He's careful to show appreciation and thank me for my help, but that's all. So. He makes his phone call, the usual "where do you want to eat" sort of conversation. We're obviously done there for the night, so I start to collect my things, and my Twins. I had sort of planned on set dressing or whatever was needed, so I was having to re-think my evening, figure out what I intended to do with myself. As we're headed out the door, he says to me "Hey, do you want to go to a Luau?" Apparently, they'd decided on Sweets, a Hawaiian restaurant near my home, which does a Luau every Friday. I've never been, but I've wanted to try it. My evening is not exactly overbooked.

I froze.

Three guesses what I said.

I'll give you a hint: I spent the evening altering costumes, knitting, and watching my latest Netflix.

Hawaiian food was not even remotely part of my evening.

Yeah, I know.

It just felt awkward.

And now I feel bad. I'm not even sure if he was actually asking me out, or if it was just that he'd had a good day (State Choir, and they'd done really well, so he was stoked), or, I don't know. He even said if I changed my mind, I should come join them.

Do you think he was actually asking me out? On a date? Did his friends put him up to it (with the best of intentions, of course), or was it entirely his idea, and he felt awkward just asking me to dinner, so he asked them to come so it wouldn't be a big deal? Or was he merely meeting friends for dinner, and I was there, so he thought it would be rude not to ask me? (Because that makes sense, totally. He's that kind of polite. The kind of polite, that, if he happens to read this, he won't say one word. Seriously.)

I felt bad practically all evening, sitting there alone watching my movie. Partly because I felt I'd been rude, turning him down. Doesn't matter if it was a date, or just some friends having dinner on a Friday night. I turned down a chance to go to a restaurant I'd been meaning to try. I turned down Hawaiian food. I turned down an evening out, with adults, in favor of...what? And, for heaven's sake, why?

I am just socially inept. That's all there is to it.

This? Is why I fear for my social future.

(Did you notice I haven't said anything about Saturday yet? Like how I threw this out there instead, so you could continue to wonder what the heck I was doing and with whom? I thought you'd appreciate that.)

(tickets to the play are available at the door. come see the results of all my hard work...)

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