the answer is YES, always always always YES

I could've been the girl that moonwalked, or the girl that thought moonwalking was cool, or possibly the girl that tripped over her own shoes while trying to moonwalk.

I was none of those things.

While at Miramar for the Friday Night Activity at the conference, nearing the time we were supposed to board the buses to return to the hotel, some fellow attendees and I emerged from the back room and found our way to the main area, from which we'd been hearing a preponderance of 80's music throughout the evening.

There was a dance floor.

And on that dance floor, there were a bunch of computer programmers and accountants (How do you tell if your accountant is an extrovert? He looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.), paying no attention whatsoever to the tour directors trying to get everyone to board the buses, but instead, getting their groove on while the camera crew went wild capturing this unheard of activity. (Give a bunch of introverts a little alcohol, and watch the fun begin! (except for those of us that don't drink, like me))

They were all having so much fun, they beckoned everyone to come and join them. Including me.

But did I hop onto that dance floor? Oh, no. I did not.

Unlike my friend there (Joy? I'm no good with names. But she was really nice.), I just couldn't seem to make myself get out there.

Instead, I hung at the edges, grinning at the spectacle, and trying to make myself forget my insecurities.

Then, a Michael Jackson song comes on. Billie Jean. And they are all dancing in a big circle, choosing one after another victim to come to the center and show off their best MJ moves. I'm watching, waiting for someone to at least attempt to moonwalk, but nobody does.

"This is my moment," I say to myself. (I did Drill Team in HS, and we did indeed learn to moonwalk, and used it in a routine. Not something that often comes up, but when it does, I usually show off my moves.)

But, no. My natural shyness is winning the battle. Anxiety takes over. I wonder if my shoes wouldn't glide properly on the wood floor. I consider taking my shoes off, but realize that my stockings may be a bit damp, owing to the rain that night. I hesitate.

And then the song is over. And I'm in agony, because I can't believe I didn't just jump on in with the rest of them.

How lame can I be?

Disappointed yet?

It gets worse.

I promise myself that if another MJ song comes on, I will not hesitate, I will just glide onto the dance floor and do my thing. None of these people know me. I will probably never see any of them again after the conference, so what am I worried about?

(When you travel, you can be anything you want to be. You can try new things, and it won't matter if you don't like them, because nobody you know saw it happen, so nobody has to know but you. For all these people know, this is how you always are. You can either be boring and forgotten, or fun and memorable. Either way, no harm done. Besides, you might find out you like whatever it is.)

I am telling myself all of this while standing, still grinning stupidly, at the edge of the dance floor.

One of the programmers (or tech support guys, not sure), we'll call him Deconflicted (funny story from the bus ride to Miramar), he sidles up to me, (and yes, he's cute. adorable even. and funny.) almost leans into me (but from the side, shoulder to shoulder), and says, "I haven't seen you out on the dance floor yet."

Clearly, this is my chance. This is where I can strip off my insecurities along with my jacket, and just get out there and have fun. My inner "fun girl" is jumping up and down, cheering - yes! you just got a second chance! nobody gets a second chance! go for it!

Instead, I hear myself saying, "Yeah. I'm already so far out of my comfort zone, just trying to meet new people and all, I'm just not sure I can do it."

And what does Deconflicted do? Does he grab my hand and pull me out there anyway?

Alas, no. He's just as introverted as I am, so he just nods, lets it go.

AAAAAUUUUUGH!

It is a full hour from when we set out to get on the bus before they finally pull the plug on the music (literally! they were packing up lights, speakers, etc - but until the music stopped, these people just weren't going to leave).

I stood there for an HOUR, grinning stupidly, and NOT DANCING.

I know.

Next time, I'll do better.

Next time, I'll remember the travel mantra that makes every trip I take, no matter what the destination, no matter what the company, that much more fun and memorable.

Just say YES!*

Someone wants to take you to their favorite sushi restaurant, but you're not sure if you really want to eat raw fish? Get over it. Say yes, and then let them order for you, too. Tapas? (what the heck is that?) You bet! Would you like to go see this band you've never heard of? Of course!

I promise, if you didn't like it, whatever it was, nobody is going to make you do it again. But chances are, you WILL like it.

I generally do.

If I ever, ever, for whatever reason, get to go out of town for another conference, I promise, I will not be that girl grinning stupidly at the edge of the dance floor, forgotten before the conference is even over. No, that won't be me.

Instead, I'll be that girl who moonwalked. Even if they don't play any MJ.

*to clarify, yes, it is okay to say no when it conflicts with your personal morals. I don't accept alcoholic drinks, or mind-altering substances, and I'm not your girl if you're looking to "hook up"

It's raining here

All day today, rain. In San Diego.

Still went out, though. Skipped lunch to run (literally) over to Seaport Village. I would never skip a class, but I figured lunch was optional. And I don't want to come back and not have seen anything outside of the hotel, you know?

I got wet. And my legs were not all that happy with me. Also, a little hungry. But I went over to Seaport, and I did a little shopping, and mostly was just happy to not be sitting in a class.

One more day.

I'm not here right now

Been away for a bit.
Spent the weekend in Seattle - which was gorgeous and lovely.
Did some knitting while in transit and in some spare moments, but can't really show you right now, because, while I did take pictures, I didn't bring a computer with me, and I'm a tad reluctant to try and upload using a public computer.

Am currently in San Diego for a work thing, which is exciting if you do what I do, but otherwise, probably not so much. Have enjoyed a little of the town, and much of the nice warm weather, but again, no pictures to prove it just yet.

Currently contemplating walking out of the hotel to seek for some excitement, even if my co-workers won't come along. That's just how I feel right now. I mean, if you were in SD, and had your evenings free, would you be sitting at a computer? Or would you be out on the town, stirring up trouble? I already worked today - that's what those classes were, earlier. Now, it's time to relax.

I wonder how far it is to Balboa Park....

If you were at my office right now...

I'd let you have one of my Cowboy Cookies:

But you might have to fight my plant for it.

(caring for a Peace Lily can be very rewarding)

What we do says a lot about us

It's funny the reactions we get when we talk about what we do. When someone we don't know is trying to make conversation, and asks the inevitable.

Currently, I work full-time for an accounting firm. If this is all I offer, the next question is either "oh, are you a CPA?" or "so...you're...admin staff?" Fortunately for the general population, the second option isn't the one I hear the most. I'm a tad defensive about that, and can sometimes over-react. (I went to school for this, bub, and I am not brainless. In fact, I'd bet you anything you can't reconcile your own bank account, so back off.) The answer I give when I'm calm is something to the effect of ,"I'm not a CPA, I'm a bookkeeper. I have about 50 clients that I handle the accounting for, at various levels. I do what I do, so that they can do what they do, and I'm good at it."
This usually comes off pretty well, and earns me a little respect. I'm a single mom, living in Utah, so the whole "working" thing is unusual from the start. The fact that it's something non-mom, non-craft-related, adds some extra oomph, which I like.

But.

I also wish I didn't have to work. At least not full-time. So, lately, I've been thinking a lot about doing something else. Something more in line with things I enjoy doing in my spare time.
It might be nice to do something that would actually fuel my creativity as opposed to merely allowing me to afford my hobbies.
I've been daydreaming about this quite a bit lately, indulging the notion of not being at a desk 8+ hours a day.

And then, I remembered: I like telling people what I do. I like the look of respect I get when people realize I have an actual brain in my head. And it sort of stopped me short.

Will I get anywhere near that much respect if/when I tell people I run a little shop?

Never mind the practical questions like: Can I afford to quit my job? What will I do if I don't make enough to cover overhead? The real question is: Can my ego take the hit?

It's that time of year again

My busy season starts in January.

I process, among other things, w2's. For a fair number of clients. Maybe even for you.
It's one of those things the IRS doesn't allow you to file late.
So, for the month of January, I work a lot of hours.
Even Saturdays.
Sometimes I don't go home until after midnight.
It's just the way it is.

So, if you notice a lack of activity here on the blog? Just know that I am working hard to make sure that you get your important financial information in a timely manner.

After January, you can bet I'll be right back at it, blathering on about knitting, crochet, sewing, family, and whatever else comes to mind.

Why I love Quickbooks (one reason of many)

I'm a math geek. And I'm an accountant. Well, okay, more precisely, I'm a bookkeeper. (That means I do more day-to-day stuff, like reconciling the bank, paying bills, and producing financials, as opposed to tax returns and audits.)

At any rate, I keep my own personal books in Quickbooks. I enter every transaction, record in detail (some receipts more so than others) all my purchases, and reconcile all my bank and credit card accounts using the handy features in Quickbooks.

And I love it.

I always know where I spent my money, and how much I owe on my credit cards (I use them almost exclusively, and I pay them in full every time). I can run reports comparing this year to last year, to see if I've really spent less on fabric, or more at the dentist. I can't be fooled about this stuff, because I have it right there, in a handy format, with just a few mouse-clicks.

One of my very favorite features Quickbooks has to offer is the "Find" feature. You can ask it to find you certain types of transactions, payments to a particular business, an amount you just can't place, or dozens of other filters. One in particular that I love to use is "memo". Because I record my transactions in detail, and generally spell out for myself just what it was I bought, I can, at any time, find out the specifics of, oh, let's say, my recent yarn purchases.

Such as the Glow-in-the-Dark yarn I bought last fall (which is only available in the fall, so I can't just run out and get more), which I'm using for the Curious Alien.

I was just getting to the end of his body, when I noticed how little yarn was left. Would I be able to finish him? Yikes. What if I don't have another skein? Didn't I buy 2 skeins? I don't see one up there in the yarn stash, but that doesn't mean it's not hiding behind something else (or fallen off the shelves). Hmm. I'm pretty sure I bought 2, not just one, but I hate to waste my time looking for it, if I really didn't.

Oh, I know, I'll just look that up in my Quickbooks!

So I open up the Find feature, select Memo, and type "glow" (I can't recall if I would have typed the whole phrase, and if I did, did I hyphenate? Best to be less specific, just in case). A click on the "find" button and...there it is!

Purchased online, from Mary Maxim, 10/15/09, memo says, "bliss, chunky charcoal, glow in dark, rasp sock". It doesn't say how many skeins (that's 4 different yarns there, not a description of just one). Bummer (note to self: remember to insert number of skeins next time). Not a problem, though, because I also save my receipts, grouped by month. I pull out my October envelope, sift through until I find the packing slip from Mary Maxim, and there it is. I did buy 2 skeins!

Later, at home, after staring at the yarn stash for a bit, I remember that some skeins did fall off the shelf, into a sort of awkward place to retrieve them from. Armed with the certain knowledge that I do, in fact, have another skein of glow-in-the-dark yarn (because, otherwise, I am not going in there!), I make my way through the chaos, into that tricky spot, and sure enough, there it is.
And a good thing, too. I ran out of the first skein just as I finished the second foot. I would have had to do him without any legs, and I would have had to sew him up with regular thread, which I'm not overly fond of.

So, there you have it. Another Amigurumi disaster, averted by the miracle that is Quickbooks (and my obsessive record keeping).

(He looks so much better with legs, don't you think?)

Now, don't you wish you had all of your financial information in such a handy format? Cuz, I can help you with that. I'm an expert. For reals.

luncheon

1) Blue Lemon = good food. Plus, we had Mary Crafts as our speaker, and, wow, she's awesome. Live abundantly, folks. If you try to hold onto everything, you won't be able to accept more. Give, and it will come back to you.

2) Just Sew is right next to Blue Lemon, and again, wow. I thought I'd seen all the little quilt shops this valley has to offer, but here it was, tucked away off the Alpine Highway. Go check it out - you'll be glad you did. They've got all the cute new Halloween and Christmas fabrics in already!

3) Maybe, just maybe, when I drive on the highway with the top down? Maybe, I should braid my hair instead of just pulling part of it back into a claw clip. The tangles...ugh.

to: OneTrueSue

Anyone else read Navel Gazing? She's been blog-missing for a while. Recently, she posted something that totally explains her absence. She's apparently become a victim of the recent economic trends, and, among various other life changes, is now working full-time, in an actual office. (I say it like that, because she was formerly a WAHM, and pretty much worked full-time that way, but in her home office, which allowed her to be there when needed, and only stay at her desk until the project was done, vs being at your desk 8 hours every day because that's what's expected.)
And she has come face-to-face with why I hate it when folks try to tell you "every mother is a working mother". Because that's total crap. SAHM's have an extra 8-10 hours a day more than the average working mom, because nobody took 8-10 hours out of their day and refused to ever give it back or in any way (except monetary) make up for it. Aside from the paycheck, it's a pretty poor deal for any mom. Sometimes even the paycheck doesn't help.

What do you SAHM's do? Clean the bathroom again? Make another week's worth of dinners " just in case"? Vacuum the front room in that adorable checkerboard pattern you worked out one afternoon while rocking the baby to sleep? No, probably not. You probably spend that extra time with your kids.

Which is why the life of a Working Mother is not one to be envied. We miss our kids. We literally miss out on milestones and firsts. Oh, and our houses are usually less-than-tidy. Because when we get home, there's  dinner, then homework, and then suddenly it's bedtime. What happened to time to enjoy the kids? Am I really going to choose a clean bathroom over listening to my kid tell me about their day? Not so much.

(I'm not going to address time for yourself here - nobody gets enough of that, from what I hear.)

So, those of you out there who have the privilege of being at home with your kids? I hope you appreciate it. I know it's crazy sometimes. I know there are days when you wish you could get away for a few hours. Believe it or not, there are days when I'd rather be home doing the dishes and scrubbing floors.
I like my job. I am thankful that I have skills that allow me to earn enough to support my family, I appreciate that I am working where I am, that it's close to home, that they are able to be flexible, and allow us to put family first.
I know how fortunate I am.
So does Sue.
But that doesn't mean she can't hate where life has led her.
I wanted to comment on her post, let her know she's not alone, that I understand hating something, while knowing that you need it anyway. I wanted to let her know that there are compensations. That the kids who reject you when you come home, who will inevitably pass through a resentment phase, will come to appreciate what you do, and find a way to love you in spite of your absence.
She's had some other reversals of fortune on top of this, too. I'm sure she's feeling overwhelmed, among other things. Whatever the reason, she closed comments. Which I can totally understand.
Maybe I'm not the best one to be giving her encouragement, given my recent failings as a mother. Not total failure, I know. My kids are not drug addicts, drunks, or sexpots (does anyone use that term anymore?), and I'm pretty sure they love me, shortcomings and all. So there's that.

Sue, you're doing just fine. It's okay to like your job and hate it at the same time. You already know that things will work out, but I'll tell you anyway, everything will work out.

(If I knew her for real, in person, I'd run right over with a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies.)

last of the Lolly flowers

Yet again, Lolly's projects were so cute, I could not help myself. I actually reached into my knitting bag at the office (believe me, if you knit, you keep stuff just about everywhere, because you never know when you'll have a minute) and pulled out, not the cheery red yarn (being knit into another fish), no, not even the pale lavender (not yet anything), or the white (being crocheted into bread slices), I pulled out my beige yarn, and my F hook, and crocheted this adorable rose:I honestly cannot say what made me choose the beige over those other colors. Except maybe just the general appeal neutrals have for me, or the notion that those other colors would clash with the rest of the flowers I've made this week.

(The white yarn is another story altogether. I'm curious to see how many slices of bread I can crochet from one skein, because, if you recall, I've run out of white yarn twice while making slices of bread (this sounds so weird), and while I explained the first shortage, I can't figure the second, and I started to wonder just how much yarn each piece takes, so I'm determined to find out. That skein is sacred.)

I crocheted the butterfly after I got home, not having either the steel hook, or the crochet thread, to hand at the office. (I hate being unprepared, don't you?)Isn't that adorable? That tiny (1" wingspan) little butterfly is just about the cutest thing EVER, in my opinion. And could not have been easier, seriously. That's a brassy-color crinkled thread, found lurking in my stash. I've no clue where I got it, or what it is, but it appealed to me in terms of "butterfly".

For this next one, I made the butterfly first, in this lovely pale green (hey, look at that, it's the same color as Lolly's...), and then looked around for the right color to perch it on. In person, this is even brighter pink. It's Simply Soft, in Watermelon. Same F hook, but this rose is a bit smaller. And, coincidentally, also the same color as Lolly's. Wonder how that happened?I've had so much fun following along with Lolly this week!

Here are all the flowers I made:

See how that fuchsia flower just doesn't fit in? Yeah. But I still LOVE it! I'm considering sewing that to the top of a knitted cupcake, in place of frosting, as a fanciful tea party sort of cupcake. I can just see how cute that would be, boxed up like real bakery cupcakes. (shoot, another project to add to my endless list)

There are a few flowers I didn't get to yet, so this is probably not really the "last of the Lolly flowers" for me. Once I dig out my floral wire and tape, I'm betting I'll have a bunch more to show off.

In other news this week for me:

Every time the Twins found me in the sewing room, and asked what I was doing, the answer was, "Lolly flowers". For some reason, they found this answer unsatisfactory.

In between crafting with Lolly, I managed to knit another fish. One of six I intend to donate to the school fundraiser which takes place May 1. I'm optimistic, but realistically, I'm not sure that was a feasible goal.

I finished reading The Help. LOVED it. Seriously, read it. You won't be sorry. It's heartbreaking at times, but, oh, so good.

Twin2 is spending the day today at a Youth In Harmony Festival, which a neighbor was good enough to take him to. Twin2 is a baritone, and a good one, too.

I filled out my tax return. It was depressing. I can't bring myself to file it yet.

For the first time this school year, I didn't have to leave work to pick up the Twins from school. A generous donor got my boys bus tokens to last them to the end of tax season so I can stay at the office and get more work done. I feel like I'm at work all the time now, but somehow, only ended up with a few hours of overtime this week. Might have something to do with various family members dropping in for their tax returns (it's okay, guys, that's what I'm here for), or something to do with taking actual lunch breaks to eat (craft?). Whatever it is, I promise, it'll get better next week.

Finally, my DVD of Fantastic Mr Fox was waiting for me when I got home last night. Even better the second time. That movie is infinitely quotable, so odd, and just a truly fantastic movie. Definitely *different*.

The Grass is always Greener on the other side of Tax Season

Why don't I have a finished knitted Grass to show you just yet, even though it's Friday already?


It's fairly simple.

I'm actually knitting my third little Gratis Grass. So you'd think I'd have at least one finished one to show off. But, I do not.

It's the felting.

I've washed and dried twice now. I still see only the very slightest difference; twice-washed item on the left, fresh-knitted on the right: (unlike the knitted baby cocoon that insta-shrunk, even though it should have been washable).

You'd think washing and drying a little knitted piece wouldn't be a big deal.



Let me 'splain.



It's tax season. ('nuff said)



What does that have to do with my laundry habits?



Well, let's just say, for those not aware of my life-in-general, tax season, being the time of year I am the least at home and seem to spend the bulk of my time at my office, is generally the time of year I buy new underwear. Because when you run out of clean underwear, you absolutely must do one of these two things: 1) laundry, or 2) shop for new undies.



I ask you, is there really a choice?

Networking Pays! (again)

I am a winner! Again. I'm just that kind of lucky, I guess.

WBN Luncheon today, Nothing But Networking - which is always fun. So many people to meet and to get to know better. Some great stories, little glimpses into the lives of these fantastic women.

And I won movie tickets.

Hurrah for me!

I'm a winner!

I just got back from the WBN monthly luncheon. That's a networking group for Women in Business here in Utah Valley. We had Emily Cushing, from Give Away Today, to talk about how she took a simple idea, and turned it into a business. If you haven't been to her site, get yourself over there! She has a giveaway every day, and you check back the next day to see if you won. Some great stuff, and a really fun site.

And I won not only a door prize, movie tickets donated by The Daily Herald, but also this gorgeous necklace from Crystal B. (won't steal her picture - just click on her name and you'll go to her Etsy site - mine is the one called Collier - Madame Tingey) and as it happens, it matched my outfit today, so I'm wearing it right now.

Networking really does pay.