my new favorite ami

I finished this little cutie last night at Fab Fibers:

I think he's just about the cutest thing ever!

Couldn't you just eat him up?

Pattern was great - quick and easy.

Yarns: Vanna in Grey Marble and Pink, and Bernat Satin in Silk

Missing...

One steel and wooden glider.

(Not the kids, or the dog. Though the dog, Valentine, has long since left this world, and the kids are now in their teens. So, I guess I miss that they're not kids anymore. That's my niece Stesha with the long blond hair, and the two curly-tops are my Twins. For real. Seriously cute, right? Twin2 seated on the glider, Twin1 in the foreground showing you the top of his cute curly head.)

This photo shows the glider/swing in it's former home, my mom's back yard. It has resided in my front yard for about 5 years or so. Until last week.

Taken from my front yard, sometime during the day Tuesday. (You'd need at least two people to carry it away, maybe even a truck, and yet, nobody saw it happen.) The owner of the currently-for-sale house next door had mowed that day - I called him in the hope that he'd moved it, maybe left it in his garage for some bizarre reason, or maybe he'd seen it "walk away" - but, no. He noticed it was gone when he mowed, but figured I'd moved it.
I'm fairly certain I would have noticed it was missing when we left the house Tuesday morning. I know for sure it was there Sunday afternoon, because we were admiring the first rose buds on the bush right next to it, while I contemplated how best to prune said roses. (My yard can get out of control.)
I was on the verge of replacing the rose bushes that used to be where the glider has been. But, I don't know, I guess I figured I'd put the glider on the (soon-to-be-built) porch after that. Or even just move it to the side, make myself a nice place to sit, surrounded by roses.

I felt really silly reporting the theft to the police. But the officer was really nice about it, said that if it were him, he'd have reported it, too.

Mom gave me that glider.
I don't understand what makes a person steal something.
And why a glider?

I've considered other possibilities: Someone thought it was theirs. Someone saw one listed on Freebay, and got the address wrong. Or, the highly unlikely, "someone thought they'd refinish it for me as a surprise, and it will come back later". All those options occurred to me at first. And not just to me. My brother E came over Sunday, and asked if it was at all possible that some guy I was dating had taken it to refinish. It was weird to hear someone else had considered the same possibility, even if mine was more along the lines of "my VT or HT" instead of "some guy". Since I'd have to be dating someone for that to be true, and I'm pretty much not. I still wish that were the case. But I'm sure it's not.

*I hesitated on blogging this. Some paranoid part of my brain suggested that maybe someone out there was trying to see if I was who they thought I was, as in, "if she blogs that she's had this stolen, then I'll know who she is and where she lives." Because, you know, I'm just that important. There was another Utah blogger who recently had her lawnmower stolen from the driveway, so that fueled the paranoia.*

Recent Reads

I'm still trying to make my way through The Zombie Survival Guide. I don't know why it isn't holding my interest, because it's actually a fun book. Maybe it's the similarity to non-fiction?

In the meantime, I finished Pride & Prejudice & Zombies. Surprisingly good. A bit silly here and there, but at no time did I feel the urge to throw the volume across the room, nor to bang my head against the headboard in frustration. I'm seriously considering getting the prequel, Dawn of the Dreadfuls.

After that, I read The Alchemist. This is one of those books everyone seems to have read, and also something I thought I'd read already. Apparently not. Twin1 saw me with it, says, "that's a good book." Which leaves me wondering how I missed that he'd read it. Very good read, definitely worth owning. The sort of book I'll read again.

I tried to settle back into Zombie Survival, but it couldn't compete with the newly purchased copy of Marley & Me starting at me from the other side of the bed. That cute puppy face won out. I'm about 1/3 of the way through, and loving it.

Yesterday, just as I was about to leave work, I got the email telling me Major Pettigrew's Last Stand was waiting for me at the library. I could not resist. I know it's mine until June 8, but I couldn't help it, I opened it last night.

I used to be a one-book-at-a-time gal. Not sure what happened.

no, really, I've been busy...

knitting and crocheting, and even sewing. Really! I have proof!

I have made the Pod and one Pea:

(note on the pattern for the peas: the directions say to purl a row that is a right side row, even though the photo clearly shows a smooth knit pea surface. I chose to knit that row. Also, I'm wishing I'd not made my pod quite so long, as I'm sure it will take at least 5 peas to fill it properly. I did what the pattern said, and it only shows 3 peas, but you can see here how little space one pea takes.)

I have started on my Pea Babe:

(yes, that is size 5 pearl cotton and a size 6 steel crochet hook. I had a hard time finding the colors I wanted, and this is what worked. It was a bit wavy after all the increase rounds - probably I should have adjusted hook size or something - but now that I've done a few rounds even, it's not wavy. So if yours does that, don't panic.)

I'm making fairly good progress on my little Quart of Milk:

(pattern does not call for working in the round, that's just me, hating sewing seams. First I knitted the base square in white, then, with blue, I picked up and knitted stitches along the sides and other end. Then I purled on the next round instead, and from there, knit every round, except for the purl stitches at the corners. I had to adjust where those were on two corners, which for some reason did not look like they lined up with the corners on the bottom. I had to do the M I L K with separate strands for each row (duh), but could have duplicate stitched it instead. I'm using worsted weight on size 5's, and expect it will turn out roughly quart-sized.)

and the main part, the meaty part (and part of the shell), of my Quahog is already done, too:

(is that not just the cutest little thing? I likes it. Clam portion of pattern says "with shell color", but of course, it meant to say "with body color". Maybe they were thinking of the actual color, which is sort of a shell pink?)

Plus, I pieced the top for a table runner. But I can't show you that, because I pieced it just in time to show off in RS, and then our committee leader took it home with her. I used this pattern, and made mine in red, white, and blue. I already have plans to make another in fall fabrics, and possibly one in pink/red.

See? Busy. Very busy.

Drama? not so much...

Firstly, my ego got the better of me Friday night at the choir concert. His mom and someone (siblings?) seemed to be saying something like "is that her?" when he was talking about E, who plays piano for the choir, and then something like, "no, can't be, because she's married". Which made me wonder if he'd been talking about me. You know, in that way. Or maybe just that my name came up in conversation a lot. Or something. Cuz, you know how that is. When someone keeps talking about someone else, but then, when you ask them directly, they're all, "why would you think I like him/her? It's not that, it's just that he/she is so helpful/talented, that's all."

See? I told you my ego stepped in for a visit. (And don't even think that my nattering on about him in my blog means for one second that I'm actually "interested". I'm just really trying to be open to a possible possibility. Even though, given all the possibles there may be, this one may not be what it is I think I'm looking for. Which I can't really know unless I get to know him.)

Saturday, I was late to the cast party (it started at 3pm, we didn't get there until 4:30ish. I was at my moms, things needed doing, I left when I could), and he wasn't there anyway. (or was he there earlier, but left because I wasn't? yeah, because I matter that much. sure.)

Pretty sure one of the kids texted or called him to tell him I was there, so he could come and not feel weird about being the adult in the group. (no proof here, this is just what my own head says was going on)

I felt like some of them were watching my reaction when he did show up. (Internal reaction: very slight "spark", if you get my meaning - but that would just be because I'd built it up in my head, I'm sure.) But it was dark (theater room, watching our play), and I'm sure that was just me, feeling paranoid. The student next to me got up to give him his chair. Which he did not take.

After it was over (only a small part of he and I on stage after the show; it cut off, but not before we could all see how wide my backside really is, and how non-committal that hug was), we went upstairs to play games and whatever.

He plays with the kids, because he's like that. I am not like that. I watched. Except I did join in on a game of dice. woohoo.

Not one word, not even the slightest indication of any interest.

I showered, I put on makeup, I even applied perfume. I wore this very cute pair of brown high-heeled sandals. I made white chocolate caramel apples. I smiled, I laughed, I tried to make conversation.

And it got me no-where.

(one of the kids, the same one I suspect texted him earlier, asked me how I made my caramel apples. I almost directed her to my blog, but then I thought better of it. yikes.)

My office mate says she's going to have to step in for me. That I'm being stupid. She says I should just call him up and ask him out to dinner. But I have a really good reason not to. Seriously.

Those who know me will probably agree with this.

If a guy is going to have any chance of surviving a relationship with me, he will at least have to muster up the courage to ask me out in the first place. He's going to need every chance he's got to show me he deserves respect, and if I'm the one that does the asking, that makes me "in charge". I'm just mean like that.

(I still say it's unclear whether he already did ask me out. Except, I guess, since what he said ("Hey, want to come to a Luau?") was basically a derivative of "Will you go to dinner with me?", maybe I'm just saying that, because then I'm not a dork. (am I losing this argument?))

(if he reads this, and he was considering asking me out (again?), will this post put him off?)

Year of Ami, week 18, R is for Radish!

Really rudimentary for this one:

Rad Radish to crochet from Bittersweet,

and Knitted Radishes from This Cozy Life

*pics of my own creations added after-the-fact*

A Hint of Drama

I've been severely chided for my recent behavior with the drama coach. I've been told I'm sabotaging myself, and that, if he did actually ask me out (I still say it's unclear), I'm deluded if I think I'll get that 3rd chance to not be an idiot.

But...

We had a nice little chat when I dropped in the other day for my trees (and carrots!). I was very careful to not be evasive, to share what I was actually thinking about. (This was not easy, because there is this HUGE something hanging over me and the fam right now, which I hesitate to share with anyone outside the family, but it's affecting everything I do, so I shared, a little.) He made sure to mention that someone had decided to host a 2nd cast party (the 1st one was very short, on the night we closed the play, and not all the kids were able to be there), and pointed out the info on his board so I could write it down. We were interrupted by my friend (same one that told me "Cam's single" before I'd even met him). She makes a big point of saying that someone needs to take care of Cam, because he's coming down with something, and she says to me "can you cook?", to which I reply, "I can bake bread." So then, he's enthusiastically praising my bread, which I twice brought in for the cast during rehearsals. I like compliments.
We talk about the new drama coach they've hired for next year (Cam will still do choir, and drama for middle school. He likes teaching middle school, which I think takes a special kind of person.), and then my friend says she's got some natural something in her car that can keep him from getting sick, just as my son comes in the door to hurry me up. Cam goes out to the parking lot with my friend, and I go out to load up my trees, and kids, to head home. The trees didn't fit in my trunk, which required me to put the top down, since we had people to carry home as well. So, when he waved me down in the parking lot, I was feeling all glamorous and cool with my shades, and the top down, etc. (I'd had a productive day, so I was in a pretty good mood, which, you know, generally makes me feel more attractive/worthwhile.)

He wanted to make sure I would be there Saturday. I made a big show of asking my son if he thought we'd be able to go. And then I said, yes, absolutely, we'd be there.

The cast party is not a "date". But, perhaps, it's an opportunity to spend some time together, which could, possibly, lead to somebody asking someone else out. Or not. But, at least, I showed some interest. I didn't avoid him, or put up those huge mental walls I know I sometimes hide behind. (Aren't you proud of me? I am.)

So, maybe, just maybe, there might be something else to blog about besides fiber manipulation. Or teenagers.

(I never did get back to Prom Night, did I? I meant to. I will.)

We have Carrots!

Dropped in at school yesterday, to pick up some trees I loaned them for the set. Logged my volunteer hours at the front desk, too. Then, thought I'd take a walk through the drama room, just in case.

And there they were!

Twin2 found them for me!

A little the worse for wear, but still basically intact.

Yippee!

Year of Ami, week 17, Q is for...

"Q" had me in a quandary; a quagmire, even!

I questioned my quest...

I quailed at quiting...

Consequently, I opened my dictionary, (nothing like good old-fashioned ink and paper!) and discovered:

quack, quahog, quadruped (whoa, I could do, like, any four-legged animal?!?), quail, quasar (but, what do they look like?), quart, quasi (that opens up a lot of possibilities!), quatrefoil, quetzal, queen, quiche (mmmm, Bad Baby Pie...), quince, quiver, quixotic, quoits (otherwise known as ring-toss), Quonset, and, of course, quilt (except, quilts belong the fabric world, not the yarn kingdom).

With such a quantity, my quarry could not be far!

Let's see...

Quack: hey! we could do ducks! (or a doctor?)

Quail: nope, no patterns, plus, they look a lot like a kiwi bird, and we just did those. (considered one of the political variety, but, that's not exactly something I want hanging around the house)

Queen: would you believe it? couldn't find even one. (considered doing bees, just calling them "queen bees", but that would be cheating, no?)

Quetzal: cool tropical bird, but again, nada on the pattern front.

How about a Quixotic Quadruped? (Twin1 nixed this idea, but I thought it was clever.)

Quince: just like a pear, right? Except it is tougher-skinned, and generally must be cooked. When cooked, it turns red. Awesome.

Quiche: I would love to have a cute fiber mini-quiche. Plus, I haven't done pie of any variety yet. But I'd prefer a whole one, not a slice.

Quite a few to choose from, don't you think?

In the end, I settled on this very cute Quart of Milk from Knitted Toy Box (Twin1 thought this was a stretch, but I want this little guy in my collection, so I'm making him. So there.)

And I was fortunate to find, from Knotty's Amigurumi, this version of a Quahog, more commonly known as a clam.

(I confess, I came very close to doing slices of cheese, because I could have said they were "quadrangles of queso". Also, they would have been very quick. Win, win, win.)

*pics of my own creations added after-the-fact*

Ami updates

Done with my Nautie!

Once the head was done (for which I picked up stitches instead of sewing on after), I was in a real hurry to add the tenticles. Because without them, aside from the coiled body, this little guy looks, well, naughty. Glad I didn't make the uncoiled version...

I have not even started either of my "peas", but expect to hide myself away to do that tonight. Don't expect to finish, but do expect to make a good start.

Back soon with my choices for "Q"!

*yarns used: Deborah Norville Serenity sport in Kiwi & Aqua, and LB Baby Sport in Ecru

back to normal?

The play is done.

It went...well enough. Maybe because last year's was so great, I'm holding them to a higher standard? I felt, just a little, let down. I know they could have been incredible, but something was just not quite there, you know? It wasn't a flop. I was just...disappointed.
Maybe mostly in myself. I felt I could have done so much more, organized it so much better than I did. I didn't rely on the other students as much as I should have. I should have watched the entire thing at least once through to fix all the little things that bugged me as I watched it Saturday night.
I made amateur mistakes, which I shouldn't beat myself up for since I am just one of the moms, not a drama coach or stage manager by training. Besides, this is their last year of high school, so this is it. I don't do this again next year, so why stress over what could have been done better? It's the perfectionist in me, I guess. I feel I failed to impress. I just don't know why that matters to me.

Their dad came! Drove all the way down from Laramie, WY, just to see the play, and then drove back the same night. They were so excited that he was there! (thank you, M - it meant a lot to the Twins, and to me)

I didn't get my camera out even once (at first, too busy, then, I don't know) so I'll have to beg pictures from others. Speaking of pictures, I was off talking to people when they did shots of the whole cast and crew, so I'm not in those. It's like I wasn't even there. (I'm on the fence on this one.)

Favorite moment of the entire night:
Scene between Cinderella's Prince and Baker's Wife (this play is full of immorality, death, destruction, you name it...). Their paths cross in the woods, he comes on to her, she's reluctant at first. "I'm in the wrong story", "I have a Baker, you have a Princess", etc. Except, Saturday, she says "You have a Prince".
Our Prince was so awesome (seriously, the most amazing high school actor I've seen in I don't know how long!) he was able to react to that, with just a look, while she recovered and quickly added (while still completely in character), "I mean, a Princess". It worked so well, you'd think it was written that way. Just added one more level of "immoral" to his character.

Best Save:
For who-knows-why, during the last verse of "Last Midnight", we had no music. Our Witch just went ahead and sang. Gave it all she had, spoke some of the parts instead of singing them. It was amazing. Twin1 said he felt her pain in that scene so much more than the other nights. I, myself, wasn't sure if there really was something missing, until Cam came back there asking what happened. She was awesome.

Thank you:
The entire cast went in together on some flowers and gift cards for me, which they presented to me after the play. Cam also got me a card, Lindt chocolates, and a hanging basket of flowers. I was touched. (For Cam, the cast put together a scrap book with notes from everyone, and pictures from the first two nights. What an awesome cast this was.)

Forgotten:
I tried to pick up the props and costume pieces I'd brought in, before leaving for the cast party. (Because I have this entire list of things I never got back last year.) I got most of them, but totally forgot about others. This morning, I went in and collected the rest. Mostly. I'd loaned them a couple of fake carrots to help dress the set. You're thinking, "so what? get more". These were nice carrots. I got them years ago in a set with this huge gorgeous cabbage leaf. I use them in my decor in the spring. They're gone. Probably went back with the flats to the Jr High we borrowed those from. I was inordinately fond of these carrots. I will miss them. I don't think I'll find any quite as nice, but I will probably buy too many replacements as I make the attempt. (Also missing an old hanky. I deliberately chose one I was not fond of, just in case, so I'm okay with that. I think.)

For Future Reference:
Can I just tell you? When your son, your son with a healthy beard, is in a play, and he wears heavy makeup for his part, save yourself a lot of trouble, and invest in some good old-fashioned cold cream. Liquid makeup removers, the kind that you use with a cotton pad, just don't do the job. Whiskers tend to shred the cotton pad (something I'd never considered before), and if he's not wearing a "matching" foundation (Twin2 was the Wolf, so his was super dark), you'll know right away how inefficient that swipe of a cotton pad is. Cold cream, warm wet washcloth. It's the only way. Trust me. Might want a good headband to hold his hair back, as well.

Time for a Little Reality

Among all the chaos for the play, and trying to do the bare minimum at home and work, something, or, rather, several somethings, fell short.

And, I've really nobody I can call to simply vent my own frustrations. Last night, after we got home, I so very much wanted to pick up the phone and call someone, just to tell someone how hard everything is right now. There just isn't anyone in my life I feel I can make that midnight call to right now. (This is one of those things that, for me, explains so clearly why our Heavenly Father made marriage and family central to the Plan. We all need someone to pour out our hearts to, good or bad. I really, truly, hate being deprived of that.)

(Side note to my fine girlfriends: please don't feel bad about this. I'd call you, if it was an emergency. This is only a mini-crisis, and you all have families and frustrations of your own.)

I'm not going to sugar-coat this.

My yard looks like nobody lives there. I'm at the office today, trying to race through several things that really should have been done last week, but were not. My Twins are home, doing...I don't know what. But I KNOW, for certain, despite what I've asked/told them to do, that the lawn will still have that "abandoned" look when I get home.

We're not going to go inside the house in this discussion, but, trust me, that's in your own best interest. If I didn't have to go in the house to shower, sleep, etc., I'd avoid it, too.

I'm not even going to try to explain how I feel about work right now. I said I wouldn't be in, and I wasn't. I've caused myself and my clients and co-workers a lot of frustration because I wasn't able to get everything done that I needed to. I'll own that. But that doesn't mean I can't be angry about it; even if it's me I'm angry at. I generally like my job. I hate that I have to work.
Sometimes my resentment gets the upper hand. I often think I should just shake that off, accept that this is my life: I am a single working mother. Most of the time, I'm okay with it. But, when I try to be both of those things, a mother, and an employee, like I feel I should be, that's when it falls apart. I simply do not have enough energy or time to do both, in full. When either one takes precedence, somebody isn't happy. It's a constant battle. My only hope is that I will be able to be a better employee once my boys are out on their own. I hate that what I have to look forward to is related to work, and not home.

This is not the life I wanted.

Tonight, the last night of the play, I wanted to look my best. The plan is for me to watch it tonight, instead of spending all my time backstage. I've tried to explain what needs to be done, so someone else can try to do what I'd assigned myself to do. I'm comfortable being "behind the scenes", but, I suspect, someone told Cam that I haven't once seen the show, not even in rehearsals, because I've been back there trying to help things run smoothly. (Incidentally, I'm feeling like a failure there, too. I don't know if I'm just trying to do too much, or if I'm not paying attention, but it's not going well.) He's insisting that I come out and watch. I want to see my kids perform. I just worry about things falling apart backstage while I do that.
The boys father is coming to see the play tonight. I don't feel a need to impress him, but it would be nice to not look like the mess I feel I am right now. It's also possible/probable that during the closing night "thank yous" I will have to be on stage, and look like I'm happy about it. I'm not an actor. I have to get happy between now and then.

You know what I really think tipped the scales here? What that one thing was, that was just one thing too many? Letting my thoughts wander into the realm of "social life". When a woman says she doesn't have time for dating or relationships because she needs to focus on work, or raising her kids, or whatever, this is why. I don't know about the singles without kids. I'm not entirely sure what their excuse is. But as a single mom, I can honestly say, there already wasn't enough time or energy in the day to be both an employee and a mother. I can't add anything else without the rest of it falling apart. I'm already just barely holding it together. There just isn't room for anything more. The paradox, of course, is that if I could manage to fit in a social life, to date someone, to give someone the time to get to know me, I may just be able to get that one thing I wanted most: to be a full-time homemaker.

For now, all I can do is try not to resent what has to be. That's just not as easy as it sounds.

Things to know...

about Cam:

He doesn't like Billy Idol. When I requested Dancing With Myself one night while we worked on the set, he instantly came back with "No! No Billy Idol!" I happen to like Billy. (I was even a fan of Generation X) I was fortunate enough to attend a concert during his Devil's Playground tour about 5 years ago. I was all of 15 feet or so away from the stage. Nobody over 50 should look that good. It was awesome. (He does like Josh Groban. Could it get any more polar opposite?)

He is, apparently, currently obsessed with the Jason Mraz song I'm Yours. One must question why, at this particular time, he wants to learn this song by heart. (I like the song. I'm confused by the video - it seems to not relate to the words. Isn't he running away, leaving someone, in the video? Nice tune, though.) And, I must tell you, Cam's voice is amazing. Swoon-worthy, actually. He can sing anything he wants, I could listen all day.

His mother owns a fabric store. He tells me this as we're draping various surfaces in fabrics on stage. Then he says, "so, if you ever need any fabric.." I tell him that's really not something he wants to offer me. I can tell he is not a fabriholic when he asks if I just really like fabric. If we were to date, or whatever, this would be something akin to Anna Hrachovec of MochiMochi Land, and her mother-in-laws massive yarn stash. And yet, I somehow manage not to shamelessly flirt with this man.

Yesterday, he complimented my shoes:

(I love these shoes...)

Tonight, after the show, as we were leaving, he failed to introduce me to whoever-she-was that he left with. (Could I feel any more foolish about all of this?)

Opening Night

You know what? When you're needed back stage, you don't get to actually see the performance. You'd think by this time I'd be tired of this musical, but, I haven't actually seen it. Just parts of it. And most of that, not in full costume or with lights or anything. Tonight, I hope to get out there and watch at some point. I'm truly needed back in the dressing area a couple of times to help with mike changes, and a couple of fast costume changes - at one point, I'm on stage left, then quickly to stage right, and then speed back to stage left again. It's not on a regular stage, it's in the middle of the school, so the only way to get from one side to the other, is to go around the building. It's fun. Really. I'm getting a great workout.
Along with that, I have to occasionally chase down an actor who isn't where they should be, or a prop that was left on the wrong side of the stage.
So, really, I've not seen much of the show yet.
But, I hear it's great. You should come. Maeser Prep, 531 N State, Lindon, 7:30pm. $5 student/child, $7 adult, tickets available at the door. Come early. Doors open at 7pm, and last night, we had to add extra chairs along the sides. Seriously.

On another note...

After we finished last night, our fabulous hair and make-up lady, Julie Crow Williams, who is a long-time (married) friend of Cam's, practically dragged Cam out the door to feed him and refresh him, leaving the bulk of the after-play mess as-is.

He invited me to join them.

Yeah.

You know what happened.

I came home and watched "He's Just Not That Into You" - my latest Netflix delivery.

I am so lame.

(Though, possibly, watching that film gave me a little perspective on what I'm doing wrong, and how not to end up wasting my valuable dating time with the wrong guy. Because, you know, I just date so much, and, you know, it's a serious problem for me. Besides, Netflix comes when they say they will, they email to see if I enjoyed the movie, and they check to see if the movie arrived in a timely manner. All good dating practices. If only Netflix was a man, we might have something there. (Are you buying any of this?))

Year of Ami, week 16, P is for Pea!

Pretty positive these are perfect!

In crochet, we have this most adorable Pea Babe. Isn't that the cutest thing? I'll tell you right now, you won't see a finished one by Friday. Or even Saturday. But I'm still going to make one. I'll post progress when I can.

To knit, something much smaller and simpler, just the Peas, from this Peas and Carrot Scrubber set. I gotta have something small and quick, don't I?

Sorry to be so late posting this. See previous post for my excuses.

Into the Woods, May 13-15, 7pm. Maeser Prep. 531 N State, Lindon. Tickets avail at the door (or call me and I'll make sure we set some aside for you) $5 student/child, $7 adult.

*pics of my own creations added after-the-fact*

the play, the play, the play (and some social awkwardness)

Note the late hour of this post. I have just now returned home from another evening of set building/dressing at the school. (well, okay, it took me a while to get things settled and write this up, so subtract a few hours)
This is normal.
Rehearsal was over at 6pm, and after that, anyone that could, stayed to help build the set. It's coming along, but it's not finished. Not even close.
I have a dress sitting next to me that needs to be hemmed about 6", which I'm afraid will not go well, and may not exactly improve the look of the dress. I'm considering other options besides hemming, but, I'm tired, and my creativity may have already gone to bed without me.
Jack still lacks shoes. Little Red may or may not have a proper blouse to wear. And I have yet to accessorize the step-sisters or Cinderella. Rapunzel's twins are still naked, with no proper wrappings in sight (they're on the small side, so a baby blanket is too big). The Baker keeps putting his baby into the basket head-first, and not supporting it's neck when he holds it. It's just a doll, but, as a mother, I cringe every time he handles it improperly. At least that one isn't naked - I wrapped it in one of the blankets I wove for my Twins when they were babies.

Did I mention? I have to put in at least 4-6 hours tomorrow at work. There is just too much built up that needs to be dealt with. Now. I worked about 1/2 day Monday, and today I had to be at a clients (regular thing, every other Tuesday, so no option), which got me to rehearsal after 5pm, by which time it was almost over. I thought I might have time to go back to my office later tonight, but I should have known better.

There is still just SOOO much that needs to be done!

One of the parents called me just after 10pm. She starts out saying she's sorry to call so late, she hopes she's not disturbing me, but have my boys come home yet from play practice? Because her daughter isn't home yet, and she's starting to worry. When I tell her we're all still there, we're not "done", but we have started cleaning up, she sort of gasps. Then she says that she didn't realize it was that much work, that I was putting in that many hours, or that there was still so much to be done. Maybe I've been too subtle in my emails to the parents? The phrase "we need help with the set" is apparently not clear enough.

And, on top of all the stress and such with the play, there is something else occupying my mind. Sort of distracting me, actually.

Here's the thing...

Friday night, as we're cleaning up to go home (we weren't staying late to work on the set - we lacked some key set-builders that night), we're talking, and rewiring some lighting, when Cam suddenly says he was supposed to call E about dinner. E is the wife of one of the other teachers, so I know this isn't a "date" he's calling, it's just a "meet friends for dinner" sort of thing. I know this, but, I don't know, something felt odd. Maybe it was just the general awkwardness of one over-40 single interacting with another. I know he's calling a friend, but I still feel, somehow, rejected. Like, "hey, I know we were talking here, but I've got this thing I have to go do now." And I feel foolish, because it's not like there's any interest or attraction, because if there is, it's not obvious. There has never been the slightest indication that he wants my company for anything more than costuming, props, and sets. He's careful to show appreciation and thank me for my help, but that's all. So. He makes his phone call, the usual "where do you want to eat" sort of conversation. We're obviously done there for the night, so I start to collect my things, and my Twins. I had sort of planned on set dressing or whatever was needed, so I was having to re-think my evening, figure out what I intended to do with myself. As we're headed out the door, he says to me "Hey, do you want to go to a Luau?" Apparently, they'd decided on Sweets, a Hawaiian restaurant near my home, which does a Luau every Friday. I've never been, but I've wanted to try it. My evening is not exactly overbooked.

I froze.

Three guesses what I said.

I'll give you a hint: I spent the evening altering costumes, knitting, and watching my latest Netflix.

Hawaiian food was not even remotely part of my evening.

Yeah, I know.

It just felt awkward.

And now I feel bad. I'm not even sure if he was actually asking me out, or if it was just that he'd had a good day (State Choir, and they'd done really well, so he was stoked), or, I don't know. He even said if I changed my mind, I should come join them.

Do you think he was actually asking me out? On a date? Did his friends put him up to it (with the best of intentions, of course), or was it entirely his idea, and he felt awkward just asking me to dinner, so he asked them to come so it wouldn't be a big deal? Or was he merely meeting friends for dinner, and I was there, so he thought it would be rude not to ask me? (Because that makes sense, totally. He's that kind of polite. The kind of polite, that, if he happens to read this, he won't say one word. Seriously.)

I felt bad practically all evening, sitting there alone watching my movie. Partly because I felt I'd been rude, turning him down. Doesn't matter if it was a date, or just some friends having dinner on a Friday night. I turned down a chance to go to a restaurant I'd been meaning to try. I turned down Hawaiian food. I turned down an evening out, with adults, in favor of...what? And, for heaven's sake, why?

I am just socially inept. That's all there is to it.

This? Is why I fear for my social future.

(Did you notice I haven't said anything about Saturday yet? Like how I threw this out there instead, so you could continue to wonder what the heck I was doing and with whom? I thought you'd appreciate that.)

(tickets to the play are available at the door. come see the results of all my hard work...)

little bit of everything...

The finished olives!

For today, this is all you're getting. I've got a little client work to do before I take off again for the school.

When I have a minute, I'll tell you all about Prom (what little I know about the Twins' dates, and where I was and who I was with...because I wasn't at home, nor was I alone...though I could just be teasing you)

The play, the play, the play. Seems like that's all I've been doing for so long, I don't remember what else it is that I do. Do I have a job? (oh, why, yes, I do) Do I have a social life? (um, sort of, but not much. and the way I'm behaving lately, I fear for my social future) Housework? (as much as I ever did, I guess)

If you live in Utah County, be sure you come out to see Maeser's production of Into The Woods this week. May 13-15, 7pm, at Maeser Prep, 531 N State, Lindon, UT (next to Lindon Nursery). Tickets are $5 student/child, $7 adult.

Olives are Easy

I've had soooo much going on this week! I was still able to squeeze in enough time to make my olives, though. I still want to make the Giant Olive, but that will have to wait. I've just got too much going on until after school is out for the summer.

No problems with the patterns. But, then, what could go wrong in 8 rounds?

 (I haven't had time to take pictures yet, so I will have to add those later - sorry.)

I have this little dilemma for next week. I really really really want to make this Pea Babe (isn't that just the cutest thing?!?), but it has many many many rounds, and a few parts & pieces. On top of that, next week, Maeser performs Into The Woods, and I'm the resident Drama Mama (I've told the kids I want that on a T-shirt. My Twins were not amused...), so I'll be tied up at rehearsals and then back stage every night of the play. That sounds like I'd have plenty of time with my yarn, but, alas, I am there to help out with wardrobe, etc.

What would you do?

The Long Rehearsal

phew! today was a long day! starting with an 11:30 meet-up at the Hale to get more costumes (that took 2 hours), and then rehearsals from 3:30 to 10ish. I ran errands before and in between.


The kids were great, and we finally got through the whole show. alas, we still have a few more costume issues to work out, and production is next week!

most of the kids worked through their problem spots while not required on-stage, and I think we'll be seeing some much better acting tomorrow.

We're all tired out, and I'm so glad we didn't do the late rehearsal Friday night - we've got an early one Saturday, and as tired as I am now, there is no way I'd be at the school by 7:30 in the AM. Not in any functional helpful way, that is. I might be there, but I'd just be a zombie.

Further Musings on this Education thing

I haven't much time for anything really deep today. I've got to pick up my sons tux at the cleaners, then meet up with Cam and the rest of his make-up/wardrobe team to (hopefully) pick up the rest of the costumes for next week. But, I have been talking to my family, and thinking more on this topic, so I thought I'd quickly throw some more thoughts out there.

I had a chance to share my frustration with my dad (BYU English Prof), and he was able to say that he's sure the Sociology Department does track marital and family stats of the student population. How they use it, and whether or not the college is panicked about the dropping marriage rate, we don't know. I asked him if he could look into that a bit for me, if he had time. He's teaching this term, though, so I don't know if that will go anywhere. I may have to look into it myself once my life calms a bit more.

I have partially read the cover article, and a few others. There are some redeeming qualities in that article. But some of it is about what you'd expect. Note that they are asking for submissions from alumni telling their own story about how they use their BYU education. Dad suggested I write something for them. I told him that could take me a while, if I wanted it to be positive and polite. He said that was up to me. Maybe they need to know how irritated I am. But I can't come across as bitter, or it won't have the desired impact. I'm considering it.

I liked the article on religious tolerance. One of my dad's friends, and a favorite prof of mine, Jim Faulconer, is heavily quoted in the article. I must confess, though, that the tag on the cover, "teaching kids tolerance" did not suggest to me it would be about religious tolerance. I thought that was a given in our society. (Did my parents raise me weird? I thought not.)

Anywho - further thoughts on the matter:
Maybe, just maybe, we need to take a look at how many of the students are still married 5 or 10 years down the road. Add to that the fact that the average marriage age is rising, even in the Mormon culture. It's not a bad thing to be a little older, know a little better who you are, and what you want from life, before you tie the knot. If we are waiting longer to get married in the first place, maybe we are making better marriages. One would hope so. The supposed fact that fewer BYU undergrads are marrying may not tell the whole story. (I'm sorry - I really need to find my sources here. I promise, after the play, I'll go crazy looking into this. I need to know what is really going on with that place.)
And, just a suggestion here, perhaps a better approach would be to teach our kids that smart is a good thing. That "looks", so highly thought of in today's world, will fade, quicker than we'd like. The mind, unless it has the misfortune of becoming diseased, does not fade quite so quickly. We have this idea of what a happy couple "looks" like. But ask yourself how much of a relationship you would have with your spouse if you can't talk about stuff. And, I mean, stuff besides laundry and the kids and what to have for dinner.
I read a lot. I grew up reading a lot. I like it when I can slip in a reference to something, and have my friend or my kids get the joke, know where I got the quote, and why it's funny/related to the situation. "Smart" is not a liability in a marriage. (This works both ways, folks. My friend's oldest is a boy, and he's a cheerleader at his high school. He's a smart kid, I've always thought, even though his grades don't reflect that (the public school system just doesn't work for everyone - but that's another topic for another day).)

A totally unrelated idea: are the "smart" ones just not "happy" enough? It was years before I adopted my much sunnier outlook on life. I come from Norwegian stock. As in, this IS my happy face. Or was. Compared to my younger years, I smile so much more, and try harder to think the best of folks, which makes life seem much happier overall. There is always a positive way to look at things, if you look hard enough.

I know this is disjointed and scattered. But I've got to run. If you don't have a copy, and want to read the magazine, they have it available online here.

Year of Ami, week 15, O is for Olive!

In my opinion, the olive is an obvious choice.

I plan to knit this wee olive-of-love by Mary Jane, Midge & Mink.

(though, if I have time, and if you are inclined yourself, there is this giant olive as well, from I Like Lemons)

And to crochet, hidden away in this set of Fruits & Veggies pattern from Coats.

(Good thing they did a mixed basket. Olives are fruits, but their savory nature often gets them categorized with the veggies.)

Felting is optional.

*pics of my own creations added after-the-fact*

Nautie progress

I'm not done yet, but it's getting there.

It's easy, but repeating 4 rows 36 times is just going to take a little time.

We had a lot to do Friday evening over at the school, starting on the set for their play, which will be performed next weekend. Whoa. Did I just hear myself right? Next weekend? Yikes.

I'm gonna be busy with that. May not post much. May not be in the office much, either.

The play's the thing.

(I totally intended including a picture of my Nautie-in-progress. He's recognizably a nautilus, and looking pretty darn cute. Camera had other ideas, AWOL. You'll just have to trust me. I have 12 repeats left, and then I can do the head.)

*finally added picture!*